“Grilled Cheese: American on white.” Most bar-restaurants in Wisconsin serve only their “abbreviated” menus on friday nights … so typically, if you want something other than a fish fry, you’d best be under twelve. Thankfully, here was a classic little grilled cheese in its unabbreviated glory. (Well, maybe glory is too stong a word.) It was a little on the dainty side, (bread was pretty thin) but what it lacked in stature, it made for in correctness. Almost made me feel like a kid again. A beer drinking kid, eating dinner in a bar. 

6/10 ($4.99)

The “Melted Cheese.” (+ bacon.) I had it on good authority from some important locals that Mihm’s had the market corned on “buttery goodness.” (As it happens, they also have the market cornered on fleshy, depressed waitresses with no dental coverage, and pants-shitting dispair.) All things considered, this was an important grease-mark on my quest for grilled cheese perfection. Unfortunately, Mihm’s doesn’t actually make a grilled cheese sandwich. They seem to think they do, (note “G CH” notation, above) and they did get all the ingredients right, (bread, butter, cheese…more butter) but, alas. Despite this minor set back, we feast:

*sigh* Nevermind. (Okay, if you must know, it was 3 slices american, 2 slices bacon, and a 1/4 stick butter on a hamburger bun. It tasted about how it sounds. Disappointing, but not terrible.)

THIS, on the other hand, is what people come to Mihm’s for: delicious, butterlogged, terrifyingly wet cheeseburgers. When we order, the waitress asks, “Pickles, onions, and butter?”

I think my heart just stopped.

The “Grilled Shrimp Melt: Mozzarella, cheddar, bacon, diced tomatoes & Cajun grilled shrimp on Texas white.” (+ side of risotto.) When I tracked down this shrimp grilled cheese on the Red Ox’s lunch menu, I certainly wasn’t going to let a little thing like not being able to eat another bite stand in my way of having it. (I couldn’t bear to live with the kind of regret I suffered in Tillamook.) You got me, though. This is a to-go container. On my lap. In my car. I know, it might seem kind of non-committal. On the contrary, I assure you – were it not for committment, that one bite would simply not have been possible. So, I took it home, and….reheated it when I was drunk. Now, before you get all judgy – hear me out. Sure, a grilled sandwich is certainly going to suffer some degradation sitting in car for 6 hours….and true, I will eat just about anything when I’m drunk. But the way I see it, that just makes it kind of a wash, yes? I did, at least, have the decency to reheat in in the oven?

Good. So first, my gripes. The bread was kind of a yawn, and drier than a popcorn fart. Obviously, though, that charge probably isn’t going to stick. More legitimately, though, the sandwich innards never quite made it to the breads edge. (Empty bites make drunkie sad.)  Despite those things, it was really pretty good. Plenty of cheese, tasty bacon, not too many tomatoes, and spicy shrimp made it a big mess of yum. If I find myself in Appleton again at lunchtime (and in the mood for some old school supper club action) I would definitely have it again. I gave it an 8.  ($9.99)

**On an unrelated note, (not that you asked) as a lover of rice, and a first-time eater of risotto, I feel very comfortable calling theirs complete garbage. As a general rule: if salt, pepper, and my being drunk doesn’t make something edible, it probably isn’t food. Sorry, guys.

The “Italian Grilled Cheese: Imported fontina, provolone, white cheddar, herb ricotta, fresh mozzarella, and fire roasted tomatoes.” Why they thought the garlic wasn’t worth mentioning, I have no idea. I’m not saying it was too much garlic…but it was certainly too much not to mention. Garlic is to be boasted, my friends. Moving on. Bread: theirs was (seemingly) house made, and fantastic. I had hoped their complimentary bread and that of their sandwiches were one in the same, and they WERE. (and equally delightful when grilled and accompanied by an excellent medley of soft cheeses.) I do have a confession to make, though. I kind of panicked in the last moments, and asked that they go easy on the tomatoes….and easy they went. My fault. I really need to learn to trust. All things considered, Wild Truffle racked up a respectable 8/10. While not exactly casual dining, they definitely got the important things right. ($7.50)

The “Grilled Ham and Cheese.” The Mint’s been feeding me this sandwich for the better part of a decade: Two slices of American cheese, and an (almost too big) heap of juicy ham. That’s it. As lunch meats go, ham has never been my favorite – but this ham happens to be tastier than most. (It gets grill-sizzled prior to construction.) Contributing to my fondness, perhaps, is the fact that they’re closed almost everytime I try to go? You know what they say. The Mint delivers a reliable 7/10 – and there’s something to be said for that. ($5.79)

The “California Chicken Panini: Jack cheese, grilled chicken, onions and fresh cilantro.”  As noted previously, I happen to know they don’t use real butter to grill their sandwiches. Despite this knowledge, I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying it. The cheese was sufficient, chicken was moist, onions were subtle, and the cilantro didn’t taste like soap, doll hair, stink bugs, or any of the other vile things these folks say it does.  Take note, cilantro freaks: maybe if more of you served cilantro in appropriate proportions, the rest of us wouldn’t have to channel our trepidation into hate-haikus and compiling statistical data. Just a thought. Thumbs up, cafeteria Greg! You get a 7. ($3.99)

“Miss Piggy: A blend of four melted cheeses on sourdough with sliced ham.” I was optimistic when this thing showed up. It looked like some kind of natural disaster where lives would be lost. As you can see, the cheeses were tremendous. Unfortunately, being that (at least) three of the four cheeses were outside the sandwich, they didn’t really count. What was left was unimpressive; bland sourdough that didn’t taste like sourdough, and ham that tasted all rectangular with rounded corners. (Oh, you know what I’m talking about.) I gave it a 5. I wouldn’t have it again….but enjoyed the cheese-paper immensely. ($6.59)

The “Deluxe Grilled Cheese w/Bacon:  Our own thick bread grilled with bacon and three slices of american cheese.” You can’t tell from this angle, but this bread is THICK. Like, encyclopedia thick. (I’m not complaining.) Once again served on multigrain – but this time a dense and chewy multigrain. The cheese and bacon were ample, appropriately proportioned to the mass of bread. I would have preferred to see the american paired with something else, like a swiss, sharp cheddar or a muenster….but it was good. Once again, I took to dunking it in their yummy chicken dumpling soup. Only this time, it wasn’t to help choke the sandwich down. I gave it a 6/10, and would have it again. ($4.74)