The quest for the perfect grilled cheese sandwich

This was my first stop on a recent trip to Madison. I’ve been here a number of times over the years, but not in any official, grilled cheese capacity. As one look around this place will tell you, nobody actually comes here for the food. The plethora of animatronic whirligigs and other creepy circusry make this a destination for children and tweakers alike. Their menu is literally 20 pages long, and they boast a number of (I guess?) Jewish favorites. (I.e. Matzo, kugel, tongue sandwich?) Interestingly, internet sources confirm that despite what their name might suggest, they are in fact, not Kosher.

But, they have a big fiberglass banana. So…who cares. 

“Grilled Cheese w/American:” Pretty standard stuff. It was small, but it was pretty alright. (The pickle was skunky.) Curiously, the sandwich itself occupied only about 1/5 of the plate it arrived on. That aside, it was sufficiently crunchy, buttered, and melted – and was a nice light start to what promised to be a small marathon of grilled cheese consumption that day. Actually, I get the feeling they might make a lot of these. I gave it a 6/10, and we escaped without seizure. ($5.10)

Tuesday’s Panini of the Day:” Crusty Italian bread, fresh mozzeralla, provalone, capricollo, honey ham, tomatoes, red peppers and onions. I’ve been meaning to hit La Prima for awhile now, (they feature a panini every tuesday) and the stars finally aligned today: I remembered, I called, the girl on the phone rattled off a list of tasty somethings, and 15 minutes later, the deal was done. The intrigue began when I opened the bag: oblong sandwiches? Wrappings? Rogue basil leaf? A panini with no stripes? Nevertheless, I think Prima got this one right. You’re probably thinking, “But that’s so not a grilled cheese.” You’re probably right, it’s probably isn’t. Frankly, I had my heart set on blogging today, so we’re just going to pretend it was. In a word, zesty. The capricollo was spicy, bread was almost pretzel-like, and the cheese was ample. I could have done without the tomatoes, (only because I didn’t know they were going to be in there) but overall, the whole thing was a pleasant surprise.   I’m going to call this one an 8, and will be back for more. 8/10. ($7.89)

“Grilled Cheese: American on white.” Most bar-restaurants in Wisconsin serve only their “abbreviated” menus on friday nights … so typically, if you want something other than a fish fry, you’d best be under twelve. Thankfully, here was a classic little grilled cheese in its unabbreviated glory. (Well, maybe glory is too stong a word.) It was a little on the dainty side, (bread was pretty thin) but what it lacked in stature, it made for in correctness. Almost made me feel like a kid again. A beer drinking kid, eating dinner in a bar. 

6/10 ($4.99)

The “Melted Cheese.” (+ bacon.) I had it on good authority from some important locals that Mihm’s had the market corned on “buttery goodness.” (As it happens, they also have the market cornered on fleshy, depressed waitresses with no dental coverage, and pants-shitting dispair.) All things considered, this was an important grease-mark on my quest for grilled cheese perfection. Unfortunately, Mihm’s doesn’t actually make a grilled cheese sandwich. They seem to think they do, (note “G CH” notation, above) and they did get all the ingredients right, (bread, butter, cheese…more butter) but, alas. Despite this minor set back, we feast:

*sigh* Nevermind. (Okay, if you must know, it was 3 slices american, 2 slices bacon, and a 1/4 stick butter on a hamburger bun. It tasted about how it sounds. Disappointing, but not terrible.)

THIS, on the other hand, is what people come to Mihm’s for: delicious, butterlogged, terrifyingly wet cheeseburgers. When we order, the waitress asks, “Pickles, onions, and butter?”

I think my heart just stopped.

The “Grilled Shrimp Melt: Mozzarella, cheddar, bacon, diced tomatoes & Cajun grilled shrimp on Texas white.” (+ side of risotto.) When I tracked down this shrimp grilled cheese on the Red Ox’s lunch menu, I certainly wasn’t going to let a little thing like not being able to eat another bite stand in my way of having it. (I couldn’t bear to live with the kind of regret I suffered in Tillamook.) You got me, though. This is a to-go container. On my lap. In my car. I know, it might seem kind of non-committal. On the contrary, I assure you – were it not for committment, that one bite would simply not have been possible. So, I took it home, and….reheated it when I was drunk. Now, before you get all judgy – hear me out. Sure, a grilled sandwich is certainly going to suffer some degradation sitting in car for 6 hours….and true, I will eat just about anything when I’m drunk. But the way I see it, that just makes it kind of a wash, yes? I did, at least, have the decency to reheat in in the oven?

Good. So first, my gripes. The bread was kind of a yawn, and drier than a popcorn fart. Obviously, though, that charge probably isn’t going to stick. More legitimately, though, the sandwich innards never quite made it to the breads edge. (Empty bites make drunkie sad.)  Despite those things, it was really pretty good. Plenty of cheese, tasty bacon, not too many tomatoes, and spicy shrimp made it a big mess of yum. If I find myself in Appleton again at lunchtime (and in the mood for some old school supper club action) I would definitely have it again. I gave it an 8.  ($9.99)

**On an unrelated note, (not that you asked) as a lover of rice, and a first-time eater of risotto, I feel very comfortable calling theirs complete garbage. As a general rule: if salt, pepper, and my being drunk doesn’t make something edible, it probably isn’t food. Sorry, guys.

The “Italian Grilled Cheese: Imported fontina, provolone, white cheddar, herb ricotta, fresh mozzarella, and fire roasted tomatoes.” Why they thought the garlic wasn’t worth mentioning, I have no idea. I’m not saying it was too much garlic…but it was certainly too much not to mention. Garlic is to be boasted, my friends. Moving on. Bread: theirs was (seemingly) house made, and fantastic. I had hoped their complimentary bread and that of their sandwiches were one in the same, and they WERE. (and equally delightful when grilled and accompanied by an excellent medley of soft cheeses.) I do have a confession to make, though. I kind of panicked in the last moments, and asked that they go easy on the tomatoes….and easy they went. My fault. I really need to learn to trust. All things considered, Wild Truffle racked up a respectable 8/10. While not exactly casual dining, they definitely got the important things right. ($7.50)

The “Grilled Ham and Cheese.” The Mint’s been feeding me this sandwich for the better part of a decade: Two slices of American cheese, and an (almost too big) heap of juicy ham. That’s it. As lunch meats go, ham has never been my favorite – but this ham happens to be tastier than most. (It gets grill-sizzled prior to construction.) Contributing to my fondness, perhaps, is the fact that they’re closed almost everytime I try to go? You know what they say. The Mint delivers a reliable 7/10 – and there’s something to be said for that. ($5.79)

The “California Chicken Panini: Jack cheese, grilled chicken, onions and fresh cilantro.”  As noted previously, I happen to know they don’t use real butter to grill their sandwiches. Despite this knowledge, I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying it. The cheese was sufficient, chicken was moist, onions were subtle, and the cilantro didn’t taste like soap, doll hair, stink bugs, or any of the other vile things these folks say it does.  Take note, cilantro freaks: maybe if more of you served cilantro in appropriate proportions, the rest of us wouldn’t have to channel our trepidation into hate-haikus and compiling statistical data. Just a thought. Thumbs up, cafeteria Greg! You get a 7. ($3.99)